Wuerzburg, Germany  - Some people have a long list including the names of their spouse, uncles, nephews, neighbours and even acquaintances they have made at the gym, for whom they intend to buy Christmas presents.

Before heading to the shops, people should take a few minutes to think about what they want to give. A Christmas gift, after all, is a statement about their relationship with the recipient. A suitable gift delivers maximum pleasure.

People who wish to give an appropriate gift must be perceptive or they must start analyzing their loved ones' needs and desires early, and remember that they can score points by making the right choice and lose points by making the wrong one.

"How well the gift is received reflects the social relationship," said social psychologist Fritz Strack, who is also a professor at the University of Wuerzburg. Planning can help avoiding emergency purchases. The decisive factor is the type of relationship the giver has with the recipient and how well the giver knows the recipient.

For acquaintances and relatives who live elsewhere:

Here the choice of presents is uncomplicated. "The best gifts are standards such as wine, a tie or socks - to avoid making a mistake," Strack suggested. Honesty also helps. Certainly it's better than buying something at random, said Karin Joder, a psychologist in Kiel. "Stress can be avoided by agreeing not to exchange Christmas gifts."

For friends, family or partners: Gift-giving is far more complicated in one's inner circle. "Here the actual meaning of a gift is important. The gift should express one's love for the recipient," said Joder. In giving to friends, family and partners, it's important to step into the shoes of the recipient and consider, "What would I want," advises Strack.

For children and grandchildren: When choosing a gift for a child it's not absolutely necessary to have a sense of what they want. However, it helps to look at the letter they wrote to Santa Claus.

"Parents can simply buy what's on the list," said Joder. But there's also no problem getting a Christmas gift for a child because "children come right out and say what they want," said Annelie Dott, a child psychotherapist from Cologne.

Grandparents, aunts and uncles are better off asking the parents when it comes to choosing a present for a young child. Otherwise, it can be disappointing or it can be something they already have. Children often are inundated with gifts at Christmas.

For the spouse or partner: "It's worth paying attention long before Christmas to what your spouse wants," said Joder. Shopping early can help avoid stress. Spouses and partners often drop hints about the things they would like. The best way to remember is to jot down what they say. The ideal approach is to buy gifts all year long, but a secret storage space is, of course, required to ensure surprise on Christmas Eve or on Christmas morning.

When selecting a gift for one's partner or spouse, it's also especially important to observe their behaviour and to consider their situation. Do they need cheering up or is there something they desperately need? Dott says such questions can help the giver find the right present.

Last minute gifts: When time is running out, it's best to just own up to the fact and go on the offensive in an emergency shopping trip.

"The recipient will be able to tell whether it was a quick buy or lovingly selected," said Joder. An explanation why more time and thought was not put into the gift should be offered. A creatively- made gift card or money in a beautiful package are appropriate in this situation.

Also, even if it cancels out the surprise, openly asking someone what they want isn't forbidden.

"Why not call a family meeting? Then each member of the family can make their wishes known," Dott recommends. That's better than buying something just to have a gift at hand. "Ordinary presents only sit around gathering dust and are not really desirable."

In the case of children, however, the giver has to make sure the surprise isn't spoiled.

Alternative gifts: Aside from gifts such as an excursion or a promise to carry out a task for someone, offering a service is another alternative to material gifts.

"All of us lack the time to do everything," said Dott. A stressed mother would be happy with a gift of a thorough house cleaning or a three-course meal. For grandparents who are no longer so mobile, a taxi coupon could be a nice gift idea. (dpa)